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When year-old Manisha Agarwal name changed logged on to a dating app for the first time, she was paralysed with fear. Married for 15 years, she needed a distraction from her sexless and loveless marriage , but was scared she would be caught in the act. Here someone always knows you or one of your acquaintances. Unhappy with her unfulfilling married life, Agarwal desperately wanted to find someone she could connect with.

She knew she could not risk having an affair with a friend, so she decided to look for potential partners on a dating app. For the latest news and more, follow HuffPost India on Twitter , Facebook , and subscribe to our newsletter. She was looking for casual sex, and knew nobody would swipe right for her if she only mentioned her name and age. Agarwal is just one of the many married women in India who use dating apps to find companionship.

Although affairs and meetings with men bring excitement to their lives, they also live in fear of the embarrassment and shame of being found out. Other popular dating apps in the country include Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Reshmi Singhal name changed , a year-old married woman from Delhi, says she became curious about dating apps after her single friends began using them. As men started approaching her, she felt desired and enjoyed the attention, even though it stayed virtual.

For her it was almost therapeutic. The problem, she says, was to know when to stop.

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A decade ago, at the age of 22, American writer Elizabeth Flock moved to Mumbai with a vague idea of working in Bollywood. She ended up at the business magazine Forbes instead. Flock went back to the US after two years, but she remained fascinated by Indian relationships. The people I knew did not. They were contemplating affairs and divorce. The book is deeply researched and gives a startlingly intimate account of three middle-class couples struggling to balance tradition and their desires in a changing urban India.

In the book, we meet the romantic Maya and workaholic Veer, a Marwari Hindu couple who seem to want entirely different things. Flock changed the names of all the people in the book. In a conversation with Quartz, Flock explained why the growing agency of Indian women is changing urban marriages and how couples in both India and the US shy away from talking openly about the difficulties they face.

Inside the modern Indian marriage, where nothing is what it seems

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In India, single women above the age of 35 are making their own choices when it comes to career, dating, and sex, battling stereotypes – and proudly. Two of my close friends are single women in their mids — in the prime of their careers and enjoying both life and work. They are not in a hurry to conform to norms and get married. Like every other single woman in India, and maybe even abroad, what irks them most is family WhatsApp groups and functions. The scene is the same at family weddings.

Smriti and Minal form a part of the growing tribe of single women in India — unmarried or divorced. According to the last census data and much has changed since then , there was a 39 percent increase in the number of single women — widows, never-married, divorced, abandoned — from Author Sreemoyee Piu Kundu featured 3, urban single women and their diverse stories in her book Status Single.

However, the growing number of single women in the country is not an indication of empowerment or emancipation. Society is still judgemental, and single women are bound by stereotypes.

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Dating & Picking Up in India: Expectations vs Reality